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The Toxic Effect of Ego

book

Ego is the Enemy by Ryan Holiday

“Not me,” you think. “No one would ever call me an egomaniac.” Perhaps you’ve always thought of yourself as a pretty balanced person. But for people with ambitions, talents, drives, and potential to fulfill, ego comes with the territory. – Ryan Holiday, Ego Is the Enemy

I thought that ego (a powerful belief in our own importance), could lead to success. After reading Ryan’s book I’ve realized that I am dead wrong…

Ego is a destructive force in our lives. It’s a major distraction to doing meaningful work and achieving long-term goals.

Watch the following video to understand why ego is so dangerous and how you can combat it:


1-Page PDF Summary of Ego is the Enemy

How to Master Anything

Peak Anders Ericsson

Peak by Anders Ericsson

Are you trying to master a skill but not seeing progress?
Do you believe that enough experience (like 10,000 hours) will lead to mastery?

Author Anders Ericsson has studied expert performance for 30+ years and found that simply doing does not lead to mastery.

The right sort of practice carried out over a sufficient period of time leads to improvement. Nothing else.” – Anders Ericsson, Peak
In the following video I outline what the ‘right sort of practice’ is and how it leads to mastery:

1-Page PDF Summary of Peak (The Deliberate Practice Method)

8 Ways to Remain Emotionally Indestructible

  1. Expect nothing from no one (secure your own future).
    • A trusted friend will let you down from time to time. They have other things to worry about than you. Don’t think less of them, simply stop expecting them to always be there for you.
    • A well-intentioned company will let you go when the economy crashes. Don’t except a good thing to last forever. Always be learning skills and seeking opportunities.
  2. Expect everything to go away one day.
    • Realizing everything could vanish in an instant (your favorite people, your health, your freedom) makes you grateful for everything you have. It’s hard to be worried or anxious when you’re grateful.
  3. Do imperfect work, but strive to make it better.
    • Seeking perfection may seem noble, but it’s generating unnecessary anxiety in your life.
    • Instead, make early prototypes, write terrible first drafts, and start with a mediocre performance. Once you’ve done something, aim to improve upon it as many times as you can. Great work requires many iterations.
  4. Focus on skill development, not goal achievement
  5. Never follow a plan, but always be rehearsing plans.
    • “Plans are nothing; planning is everything.” – Dwight D. Eisenhower
    • Developing and rehearsing a plan allows you to see the potential pitfalls of what you are about to do and makes the unknown less terrifying.
    • When it comes time to act, following a plan is a recipe for disaster because it doesn’t allow you to rapidly improvise when things change. As Mike Tyson once said, “everyone has a plan until they get punched in the face.”
  6. Prepare for the worst: financially and emotionally.
    • Each year, buy insurance and top up your savings to protect you and your family from ANY disaster that could occur in the upcoming year. Then stop thinking about it for 365 days.
    • Before doing anything ‘risky,’ consider your recovery plan. If you can’t recover then don’t do it. When you look hard enough you’ll find you can recover from most setbacks. For example, leaving your job on good terms and trying to start a business is OK when you know that you could always go back to your job.
  7. Make the decision with the most options and make big decisions through a series of smaller decisions (short trials).
    • Make the decision that allows you to change direction should circumstances change.
    • Break down your big decisions into a series of smaller decisions to test assumptions and gain valuable information before jumping in head first.
      • Trying to decide which city you want to move to? Rent a condo in the neighborhood where you plan to live for 2 weeks.  Act as though you are living there for 2 weeks. Is it what you expected?
      • Trying to decide whether you should quit your job or not? Take a 3-week stay-cation and work on your side business to see if takes off and if doing that work is really something you want to do full time.
  8. Own less and save your money for experiences.
    • When you own something you need to maintain it. When you own something you fear losing it.
    • When you save your money for experiences you get to enjoy planning, doing and talking about it after.
    • Maintaining the memory of a meaningful experience requires zero ongoing maintenance and there is no need to fear losing it.
    • Experiences can become more valuable over a lifetime because they often lead to new skills that serve you for a lifetime.
Inspired by Derek Sivers

Attitude of Ownership

Extreme Ownership
Extreme Ownership by Jocko Willink & Leif Babin
There are no negative repercussions to Extreme Ownership.” – Leif Babin, Extreme Ownership

Extreme Ownership is accepting responsibility for everything that could impact your team’s success and your success. It’s a heavy burden to bear, but it’s what all great leaders do.

In the follow video I’ll explain how accomplished Navy Seals, Leif Babin and Jocko Willink use Extreme Ownership to win on the battlefield and why you should adopt an Extreme Ownership mindset in your life:

 

1-Page PDF Summary of Navy Seal Leadership

Grow Your Grit

book

Grit by Angela Duckworth

The most dazzling human achievements are, in fact, the aggregate of countless individual elements, each of which is, in a sense, ordinary.” -Angela Duckworth, Grit: The Power of Passion and Perseverance

Our society causes us to believe that talent leads to great performances. We tend to marvel at the natural talent of others and overlook the importance of effort. Surveys show that people commend effort, but don’t actually believe it can compete with natural talent.

Angela Duckworth challenges this belief by researching top performers and documenting her findings in the book ‘Grit.’ I’ve taken the time to summarize ‘Grit’ into the following core message (video + 1-page PDF):

1-Page PDF Summary of Grit

Eliminating Overwhelm: 7 Questions to Ask Yourself

When you’re feeling stressed and overwhelmed by a mountain of ‘to-dos’, try asking yourself the following list of questions (core questions plus ‘–>’ follow-up questions):
Get out a piece of paper or open up a Word file and answer the following questions by writing down whatever comes to your mind (stream of consciousness exercise):

Replacement Plan:

“If I got sick who would end up doing my work?”
–> “Would all of it need to get done?”
–> “Would some of my work be completed 80% as well by someone else?” (virtual assistant, junior staff in the office, contractor, etc.)
If so, find/hire that person and give them the majority of your work so you can focus on high-value activities that other people find difficult to replicate.

 

Fear-setting:

“What’s the worst that would happen if I failed at this?”
Write out the scenario with as much detail as possible – who’s involved and what does it look like.
–> “How certain am I that it would be that bad? How can I be so sure?” (poke some holes in your logic)
–> “How likely is it that I would bounce back? Have I bounced back from a similar event in the past? Is this time really that different?”

 

Non-Doing:

Isolate each ‘to-do’ item and ask yourself: “What if I simply didn’t do it?”
–> “What effect would that have 10 Days From Now?”
–> “How about 10 Months From Now?”
–> “How about 10 Years From Now?”
Asking this question helps you realize that many things that you deem ‘critical’ have very little impact on your future. Asking this question helps you realize that very few things have a major impact on your life.

 

Memento Mori:

Sorry to be the bearer of bad news…but we’re all going to die someday :).
Death shouldn’t be something to scare you into doing something rash, but to help you remember what’s truly important.
Remembering that I’ll be dead soon is the most important tool I’ve ever encountered to help me make the big choices in life.
Almost everything–all external expectations, all pride, all fear of embarrassment or failure–these things just fall away in the face of death, leaving only what is truly important.” – Steve Jobs
 “Knowing that I’ll be dead soon, what’s truly important in my life?” (even if you die in 40 years, those years could go by quickly)

 

Just ONE Thing:

Make a list of everything you need to do at this moment.
Look at the list and ask yourself:
“What ONE thing makes everything else seemingly unimportant or irrelevant at THIS TIME?”
–> “What’s not absolutely essential at this time?”
  1. Cross out 50% of that list and re-write the remaining 50% to make a new list.
  2. Ask the question again and cross out another 50%.
  3. Continue this process until you have 1 or 2 items remaining.
Set a 25-minute timer and commit yourself to working on one thing without self-criticism, self-doubt or worry about the future. Commit to ignoring the voice in your head and just do the movement needed to do the work. If doubt or fear come up just tell yourself you can think about it later, but right now you need to focus on what you’re doing. You have permission to be worried, stressed and overwhelmed after the timer is up.
If you had more than 1 item on your list, alternate working each item until you determine which one is more important at this time.

 

Happy Anyways:

“It sounds crazy, but what if I didn’t need to achieve it all to be happy?”
–> “What if I could be just as happy without it?” (extra money, status, promotion, etc.)

 

Less is More:

“What if I could achieve more by doing less?”
This question can often turn the feeling of overwhelm into a feeling of curiosity.

 

**If you’d like a PDF checklist of these questions for your records click here: Overwhelm Elimination Checklist

Anything You Want

Anything You Want

Anything You Want by Derek Sivers

Don’t be on your deathbed someday, having squandered your one chance at life, full of regret because you pursued little distractions instead of big dreams.” – Derek Sivers, Anything You Want

‘Anything You Want’ is a book about author Derek Sivers journey of accidentally starting a company and growing it into a $20 million business.

The book contains 40 lessons for aspiring entrepreneurs. I’ve condensed those 40 lessons into a three part story (5-minutes in total) to illustrate how you can start a company, grow a company and know when to leave your company:

1-Page PDF Summary of Insights from Anything You Want